I read that book by Eckhard Tolle called A New Earth in which he talks about a collective pain memory that is present in humans, because of war and past hurts. I think horses have this too. (They went to war with us, unwilling participants, and have a history of misuse and abuse). Sorry if I sound too out there but I do believe it.
Some horses just seem born tame. A lot of the cutting and cow bred horses I deal with are this way. They don't seem to have major emotional hangups and are logical and intelligent. Some other horses are not like that. Speed bred and ranch cowboy bred horses are often different. Harder headed, require different tactics, slower, and more methodical dealings. Some are less intelligent but this filly is not dumb. She is scared.
The other day, I had a major "discussion" with her about not bucking and kicking out in the drive lines. The day after the discussion, she was a seeming changed horse. She was looking to please, to show me she understood and was trying, and so I kept everything easy and praised her a lot. Then one day off, then I get her out yesterday and start to work her and my friend shows up in the barn to hang out. He comes over once in a while to watch me ride and such...he's a great guy and he rides, but not well. He actually has a bad effect on horses. Something about his energy, he can make a horse that is tied to a post pull back in a panic just by walking up to that horse.
Anyway he watched me work the filly and she just never could relax. She would bolt past the pace in the round pen where he was standing on the outside. The kicking out and bucking behavior reappeared.
I worked her easy and chalked it up to my friends anti-horse-relaxed energy. Today, however, she was awful again. Tense and fearful. I brushed her and she stood there ready to explode the whole time. I saddled her and asked her to move out on the lunge line and she bucked and I could tell she knew she wasn't supposed to but she is just wound so tight she couldnt' seem to help herself.
After she went round a bit I asked her to come into the center of the pen and I rubbed on her for a while. She was so tense she was actually vibrating. She was standing still and allowing me to touch her because she knew she was supposed to but she wasn't really there with me. I was going to ask her to go out and move around me again but something stopped me and I started massaging her face instead, her lips and ears and above her eyes. I was suddenly overcome by an overwhelming rush of sad emotion. It was very strange because I knew this emotion was not mine; I can't explain it but I know it wasnt internal, it was the filly. It was so overwhelming I actually started to cry a little and I am not a crier.
I just kept rubbing her and let the emotion travel through me and then I just let it go. I think I might have helped her let it go. As I rubbed her her head came down and the tension left her body. we stood like that for about five minutes more. I actually put my head against hers. I would never have done that before because she would have taken my head off.
Then I asked her to move out again. She took off running but it was a different sort of running. I let her run it out. I recognized this sort of running because I've done it myself. When I have a horrid day and I'm not right in the head I go on the treadmill or I go to spin class and I just move out until all that is left is my breathing and my beating heart, and I sweat out all that sadness. This is what this filly was doing. After a while she slowed on her own acord and she had a changed attitude. She was more relaxed. I left it at that for the day.
