Thursday, July 31, 2008

Texas In July

Houston in July is like a steam bath. I'm not sure how people stand it. I certainly don't know why July is the month my family picked for a reunion! When I touched down at Hobby I called Bob Hunter and told him I was in town again and would love to come on out to see him. He said, perfect timing, there is a show on Friday in Yoakum, and he had a horse I could show if I wanted to go.

Well why not?

5 am Friday morning I set out from Clear Lake City and got on the Sam Houston Tollway. It was still dark but already hot. The day before, my family and I had gone to Kemah boardwalk on Galveston Bay and I had rode the ferris wheel. Stopped at the top of the ride I looked over the bay and saw the oil tankers coming in the channel to Texas City. The other side showed miles of green, flat and low, trees intersperced with white buildings, downtown gleaming in the afternoon sunlight. The humidity is a palpable thing, visible even, a sauna over the lush semi-tropical landscape.

The roads are so clean and there isn't any traffic; I sped along unfettered and I was soon out on 10, through Katy and beyond. Texas goes from city to country so quick. Country for miles and miles, just green trees and green pastures and cattle everywhere. There is nothing comparable in California to all this green open space.

As I came into Sealy the sun was rising and the humidity was like mist, hung low like tule fog in the Valley, except already I had the air conditioner on. I pulled into Bob's drive and went to help him load horses in the trailer. He gave me a bucket of oats and told me to take the mule and catch a 2 year old out of the back pasture. Off I went and caught him easily.

Turning back to go towards the barn something in the long pasture grass caught my eye. At first I thought they were sprinkler markers, all over the ground, but another look, this time from the side, showed me what I was really seeing was spiderwebs, dozens of them, made in the grass. A long piece of grass would be bent down like a scaffold and the web was built using the grass as a frame. Dozens of perfect webs stood wet in the humid mist, lit up and dazzling in the rising sun. What to say to a sight like that? It was a piece of heaven. I stood there gaping without a sound.
Yoakum was another hours drive from Sealy, on two lane country highways through miles of Red Angus and little country homes, interspersed with towns with a Mayberry feel. Nothing corporate or modular or mass produced in this landscape. The day started out with promise and I was joyful as I drove along.

The showgrounds were full, and like any show I go to, getting there in the morning, pulling in and finding a place to park among the rigs filled me with excitement and anticipation. I don't tire of this; it is a thrill every time and I feel so grateful to get to do it. Walking around at a show a couple of states away from home, among strangers, I am comfortable and joyful. They aren't strangers, not really, for we are all there with the same ultimate goal and the atmosphere is welcoming. Walking into the arena and the warmup pen is like walking into any warmup pen anywhere and this is where I belong.

I helped Bob's wife, Sandy, saddle, and we hopped on his two 10,000 Novice horses and went to loping. The horses settled right in to the familiar show routine, and after a long four days with my family in Houston it felt like a release to be back in my real home, on the back of a horse. In the house with my aunts and sisters and parents I had begun to lose a bit of myself and more than once the idea that I may be adopted occured to me. Certainly I don't come from the same place as these people who are my family. There is a little resemblance here and there, and none of them are bad people but as always I am a bit of an outsider, looking in and marveling at our different worldviews.

Soon I struck up conversation with others while we loped and the dialogue flowed easily and unfettered by self consiousness or ulterior motives, unlike the days before with my family. The heat was not stifling thanks to low hung huge fans in the indoor arena. Right before Bob went in to show, the rain started. It was raining sideways, hot rain; the sun still shone in the sky. I accepted that I would be sticky and wet and that was ok. I continued loping, wiping smeared mascara away and wondering, as I have wondered before, how the Texas ladies always had such good hair and makeup. My hair hung lank in a tangled wet rope down my soaking back, my shirt stuck to me like a second skin. I've just never been meant to be a glamour girl.

As usual, excellent showman that he is, Bob won a check in his class and I was happy to see I had not failed him in warming up his pony. Later he told me that was the horse I would ride in my class. Chet, a red roan gelding by Smart Little Riccochet out of a full sister to Cash Quixote Rio; he was a mover and a shaker!

First I rode the two year old I had caught earlier that day. He was a sorrel Chula Dual gelding with a thin crooked stripe down a slightly roman nose, with a kind but young face. He was lightly built and small, with good bone and good legs. As I settled in the saddle and wrapped my legs around him he focused in on me and allowed me to guide him into the warmup pen and merge into the traffic. He was a bit goosey- preoccupied with the big and unfamiliar herd he suddenly found himself in. Like the intelligent little boy he is, he handled the situation well, with minimal stress. Soon we were loping along with the seasoned show horses. For his second time "in town," he was a good boy. Bob had obviously done an excellent job starting him and I felt completely comfortable on his back.

I also took Rubin Pringle's Peptoboonsmal filly for a spin. Her mama is Smart Fancy Lena, same mama as Blue Duck Okie. I felt pretty special riding around on that little princess! And little princess was what she was, no doubt. She looked and acted just like our own Pepto, a baby version. Silly and full of mischevious energy, turning into a wiggle worm every time a horse came up behind her, she had me giggling and concentrating on maintaining a soft back and a secure, centered seat. Sometimes it is possible to get on a horse and just know...just know, that horse is a good one. A star in the making. Well that little Pepto is a good one. I look forward to seeing her in the Futurities!

Later in the afternoon it was my turn to show. First I went into the office and filled out my ACHA membership renewal and gave the secretary a check. I was suprised and pleased to find that the secretary remembered me from last year! She was happy to see me and asked me about mutual friends and aquaintences in California.

Before I went in I rooted for Bob's non pro rider as he went in on his CD Royal gelding. He made great cuts and marked a 73, for second place in his class. A former polo player, he had taken up cutting as something to do in the off season for polo. Like anyone, he had become hooked ..ting, the simplicity, the precision, the laser sharp timing and tempo that is necessary to do it well. Once in a while it clicks in, the rhythm, the rhythm, and just a taste of it can keep someone coming back for more and more and more.

All day Bob and Rubin, jokers that they are, had been loud and boisterous, laughing and joking with each other across the show pen. "Hey Rubin! I got some Pacific Coast on my two year old! She got a 73 on that old nag of yours last year but this year she's going to get a 74 on my horse!" And of course Rubin would have a smart response. By the time I was warming up Chet for my class, everyone in the place had heard their boasts and I was receiving lots of curious looks.
For a moment it made me nervous. Last year there was no pressure; it was a free ride in a place where I knew no one. Last year no one expected anything of me. Last year I had won a check on a horse I had never seen and now the bar had been set. Could I do it again? Oh wow.

As I loped I thought about it and decided not to think so much. This is not the girl scouts. I have worked so hard to become accomplished at this, to feel brave enough to show up out of the blue somewhere and get on their horse and do that horse justice. I didn't come all this way to blow it because of nerves. Why did I have to get nervous anyway? All I had to do was go in there and do what I do, do what I practice every day, feel that feel yet again and let everything click into place. If I want to make this my career then I better just get used to pressure and laugh in the face of it.

So 74? Sure, I can do that. I had watched Chet mark a 73 earlier in the day and I was secure in the knowledge that this horse knows his job inside and out. Bob gave me a few pointers. He said keep him pointed up and don't get to swordfighting when making a cut. Show him the cow I want, set it up square in the middle and ease him into position with my feet. He said I could rely on this horse to match anything a cow gave me if I stayed with him, but don't get to kicking too much, because that would encourage him to "write checks he can't cash." Hmmm. Sounds like my horse Hal!

I was first up in a class of 18 riders. On my first cut I walked about 1/3 the way in the herd and eased the top part out towards the center, letting them settle and shape, keeping my eye on the top cow, a smallish mot faced black. I was patient and the cattle started rolling around me and I stepped Chet up through the traffic, keeping my legs in close, bouncing on his sides, encouraging him towards the mott's face, my rein hand just above his neck. I cut clean in the center and put my hand down and Chet went to work.

The mott had a little life to him and he took off with his tail over his back and Chet matched him. I wasn't quite in the rhythm with him on the first stop and I felt a little bobble but Chet never blinked an eye, he hit his stop and came back through himself and I put my cow-side leg on him and then got in time with him. I could do this. This horse was a lot like Hal! I got that cow broke down in the center and went back in for another one with 1.30 left on the clock. The next one I pulled out was a red cow that wanted to look at Chet a little and gave him a chance to do his dance for a few beats before running hard at us to the left. I put some leg on him and told him to stop that cow and he did. It then took off at an angle away from us and Chet broke fast with it but as I saw the angle change I sat down on him and we did a perfect half halt and slowed down to rate that cow. One more stop and turn and off to get a third cow to finish strong.

I sliced a charolais off the top and agressively pushed her out towards the center and threw my hand down. This one wanted to play and came in hard, ducking one way and then the other. This is where Chet and I really got together. He jumped out a bit long on one side and I felt comfortable enough to sit, wait, and then SEND him back strong to the other side to even us out. I felt him respond to me and the tempo of our run hit another level. I had one moment where I wished I had another 30 seconds; I had gotten the feel of him now and knew I could get an even higher score if I had had just a bit more time. I didn't want it to end. I could ask this gelding to write some pretty big checks before we came up with one he couldn't cash.

We walked out and heard the score...74. First place. I had done it. And it wasnt' because I went in there trying to win or worried about the others, on their fancy horses, familiar to them, among friends in an arena they had no doubt shown in before. I just did it because it is what I do. All that other stuff is extraneous. In the movie "Greatest Game Ever Played" Shia LeBouf stares down the fairway as the amateur golfer Francis Ouimet, and he has the million mile stare. The camera pans out over the fairway, thronged with expectant faces, trees, clouds. All of a sudden the people disappear, the trees disappear, the clouds fade from the sky and all that is left is the fairway, on a plane of nothingness, out in a vaccuum, in space. The golfer and the hole, marked with a flag. No sound, no croud, nothing. He aims, he fires.

When the show goes well, that is why. If I can get into that focus, that state of allowing, of being here, comfortable in the here and now. It is a liberating feeling and afterwards I walked around free and easy, no resistance anywhere in my body. My limbs swung loose and my joints were free and flexible. Chet walked with me to the washrack and he walked free and easy too, content with the world and the job he had done. I hosed him off and gave him a drink and a pat and thanked him for the wonderful time.

Tuesday, July 15, 2008

Hot Summer

When the temperature gets in the 100's I like to take a drive with the top down and feel the oven heat at 55 mph. There are fires a lot here, but not like this year. This year is extreme and unique. When it hit 105 I lowered the top in my Pontiac and set out through the foothills. The sky was brown and I could look directly at the sun without squinting. I cranked up the radio and felt the superheated air flow over my face, over my arms. Around me the grass was yellow and the oak trees looked dry. Small daisy-like sunflowers lined the road and birds flew up. The music started to get into my cells, my soul. The air lifted me up and the music lifted me up and something amazing happened. In my mind I was totally present in the here and now, the moment. I felt my body get light. How do I explain this exept to say it was an infusion of joy and energy and spirit. My body broke in a million pieces and started to disintegrate and mix in with the atmosphere around me, all of it; the air, the grass, the car, even the music. I was a million bubbles floating around the car flying through the air vibrating with the song. Joy and Love flashed through my being. Then I laughed and just like that was back in my car, driving. I couldnt' get the grin off my face though.